please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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