Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
