So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
