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just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
