i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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