It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
