Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Randomize
