At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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