I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
