how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
