please come you make the beer taste better
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
