that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
