Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
