at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
