I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
