Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
