I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
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