I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
