he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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