I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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