Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
