I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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