just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
