YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
