Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
