he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
