stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Come back. Shots need mouths.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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