I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
