I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
