toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
