I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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