She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
