K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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