I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
