you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
