I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
