I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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