super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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