so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
