I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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