I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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