I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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