I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize