youre lurking in front of me
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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