dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
