you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
