is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
