I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
