I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
