Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
